The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
