I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
whose ass print is on the piano?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
