Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
