do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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