I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
