Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
