I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
