separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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