Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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