New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
