Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
