this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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