my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
