Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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