This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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