Apparently you make a good broom.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
