dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
