Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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