Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
