this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
