Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wear drunk well.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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