How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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