imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
