im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
