Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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