I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
