I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
