I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
