I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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