Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
