oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
