I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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