You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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