I can text with my tongue
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
