I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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