On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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