the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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