I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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