Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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