So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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