Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
