I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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