You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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