we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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