And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
