I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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