My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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