DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize