Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
