I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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