That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I look better un-naked...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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