So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
