Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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