I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
