I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
