Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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