She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
