my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Drake has all the answers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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