My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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