I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
nutella sex= disaster
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
