I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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