Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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